Love and Loss

Today I can't seem to push away all of the thoughts that linger in my head about some of the people in my life. I feel like I can't trust anybody. When I don't express these feelings with anyone they just build up inside of me. I feel like I don't have anyone close to me in my life.



I mean I have friends and I have family, but I just don't have deep feelings for anyone anymore. Its like the more I trust people the more I get hurt. The deeper I push myself into relationships of any kind, the deeper I get my feelings hurt.



I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to be unhappy.



I love myself so much. I care about me, so why doesn't anybody else?



How can you come inside of my life just to leave?



I want everybody that has ever hurt me to know that I hurt, too. I wish I could be like Alicia Keys' song "Superwoman" all of the time, but I can't. Its like I try. I try really hard, but its never good enough. I just don't know what to do. I'm crying right now.



All of this love is sitting inside of me and it can't wait to get out. I feel this really strong feeling, but I don't know if it is love or pain, because I have both of them.



God help me.